Illusion
by Toast and Suicide
Summary: Is what we see real? Maybe memories of the past are merely haunting you...Dark and angsty...sort of. Character death. Implied AsuCaga and a bit of KiraLacus.
1. Athrun: Paradise

My first fanfic. Woot. Please don't flame. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed. Destiny was...blah.

Illusion - Part One

The war was finally over. Everyone had fought and this was the fruits of our labour.

After the war of Jachin Due a year ago, many things have changed. For one thing, Kira and Lacus were no longer, mere lovers, no, they had married. Kira had proposed to Lacus about 2 months ago and she replied with an excited yes. As I speak, they are out on their honeymoon in the Galapagos Islands.

Meanwhile, Cagalli had taken up the position of Orb's head representative and was working as hard as she could for the country. I, on the other hand, really have nothing to do but to be a bodyguard for her. Not that she really needed it my extra protection, but I guess I really only took up the post to be close to her. Right now, she is still working as I lounge in my room wondering. Wondering about what, you might ask? Well, I'm planning to propose to her. It would be quite fitting for our wedding to be a few days after Kira and Lacus come back. But, I guess I couldn't wait in case I lost my nerve to do it. So I left a note in her room instructing her to meet in my room after she's finished working. So, I'll just wait.

**Later**

She said yes! I was nervous as hell when I was popping her the question and sliding the ring on her finger, but the end result was that she said yes! I'm so happy that I could burst right now but...of course, I'm always the one who doesn't start prancing around when something good happens so...I'll keep it to myself.

**One year later**

Cagalli and I have a child. We named her Yuli after her birthflower and we were extremely relieved when she came out alive. We also heard Kira and Lacus have a child too, but we haven't gotten the chance to see them since our wedding, oddly. Well, we can only hope that they're doing well and raising their child accordingly.

**The next day**

I was outside by the beach. Yuli was with me because Cagalli had duties to attend to and I was to take care of the baby in her absence. Yuli was asleep, but I was fine with the tranquility of the moving waters and the light breeze that came by.

"There you are, Athrun!"

I looked up. And who else but Kira was there to greet me?

"Oi, Kira! I haven't seen you in a while!"

Kira seemed to be eyeing me with a worried look and I was greatly confused. What _could_ be wrong?

"Athrun..." he started, "Are you feeling alright?"

I looked back at him and I grinned.

"Of course I'm alright, Kira! Yuli and I..." I gestured beside me where she was lying asleep on a blanket, "...Are just fine! And don't worry about Cagalli either! She's not overworking herself as long as the baby's here."

But then I changed the subject.

"Kira...why did you never visit us? We would have been happy with you and Lacus as guests and we would've liked to know what you two were doing this past year."

He seemed to hesitate before answering. And his answer was quite unexpected.

"You...and Cagalli...are married?"

I gazed at him with suspicion, even though I tried to not let it show. I answered slowly, carefully.

"Yes...and what is it to you?"

Kira shook his head and answered...

"Nothing...except..."

"Go on," I prompted him.

"She's dead. Cagalli's dead, Athrun, and has been for the past year or so."

My eyes widened. And suddenly, the illusion in front of me shattered.

_Owari_

Review...please? You'll make me happy.


	2. Athrun: False

Short update. I'll do one every week. Hee hee, I already have all the chapters written, I just have to post them. So if you want a new chapter, review!

Illusion: Part Two

She couldn't be dead. She was always with me. I had promised to protect her, so she couldn't be gone.

But Kira said she was. And Kira doesn't lie...does he?

He's lying. He doesn't want me with her. He pretending so I can't be with her anymore. Kira...how dare you?

I moved my head down so that my bangs shielded my eyes. I replied to him, "Yes...I remember now...she's gone forever..."

Kira seemed to be relieved as he let out a breath that he was holding. But I wasn't finished.

"...Because you made her go away." I looked up at him and he at me with a shocked expression. I then reached out for his neck a grasped it roughly. He made a choking gasp but I didn't care. All I cared about was Cagalli. She isn't with me anymore, and it was all the fault her brother, Kira.

"Athrun...yamero..."

So he can still talk. But he'll soon be gone, and then there will be nothing between Cagalli and me.

"Athrun...onegai..."

Once again, I ignored his requests and squeezed harder.

"Huh, you truly are the Ultimate Coordinator..." I taunted, "And you were disappointed with being superior compared to others...so why won't you die?"

He reached somewhere in his clothing but I ignored him. All that mattered was his death. And then he gasped out to me, "Because...Lacus...needs...me..."

Lacus. I had forgotten her. What would she do without Kira? My grip must've loosened for a second and Kira seemed to seize the opportunity, as he took out something a jabbed me in the chest...

"Naze...Kira...?"

And all I saw was Kira's regretful face before everything faded into black.

_Owari_

For those who don't know, here is a mini vocabulary for the Japanese romaji:

Yamero: stop it

Onegai: please

Naze: why?

Review...please? Or else I won't update!


	3. Kira: Regret

Merry belated Christmas! This is a present for all people reading this! So, enjoy and please review!

Oh yeah, I forgot the disclaimer last chapter...hee hee...

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Seed...or do I? apple thrown at head

Nope, I don't. --

Illusion - Part Three

It happened a bit more than a year ago. She had become the new ruler of Orb as her father wanted her to be. She was busy all the time and seemed to care more about the country rather than herself. She didn't get enough sleep. She didn't eat enough. She didn't drink enough water, although she _had_ drunk a lot of coffee to keep herself awake while filling in all those reports.

Then one day, I was called. The voice on the phone cried, "Cagalli, she's gotten pneumonia! Come back here, quick!" The call ended as quickly as it came. Of course, I rushed out and found Lacus. I told her about Cagalli and she in turn ushered me to the car and then we drove to Cagalli's expansive home. We rushed up to her room and found Athrun at the side of the bed, murmuring reassurances to her. His face was covered by his hair.

We walked closer to the bed and that when Athrun seemed to notice us. He stood up and faced us. He said to us, "The doctor's diagnosis says it's fatal. She's dying as we speak..." We examined his face from where we stood and it looked as if he had been crying for a long period of time. We went closer to the bed and Cagalli was lying there, pale and still, occasionally coughing a bit. Her eyes were closed so she couldn't see us, but we were there for her...

Two weeks later, she had passed on. Athrun had spent an extremely long time in her room with her body. Lacus was crying on my chest as I stroked her hair gently. I didn't cry. I promised myself not to cry and now that Cagalli was gone, I had to be the pillar for everyone. I had to support Lacus and Athrun. Or else...I would never forgive myself.

During her funeral, Lacus was the only one to cry. Cagalli was buried beside her father, just like she wanted it to be. Athrun. He was pretending that he wasn't as affected, but in his eyes, I could see all the sorrow that harboured there. He was putting on a brave front, and we knew that he would be depressed for months and probably years to come. But he would get over it. Or so we thought.

A year later, it looked as if Athrun had finally recovered from Cagalli's death. So Lacus and me married. Athrun and our old friends (even Yzak came, can you believe it?) celebrated our marriage and when we told Athrun that we were going on a honeymoon. He seemed to look at us with envy, but back then I thought I was imagining that. We had a great time, but we kept on worrying about him. And we were right to.

Athrun was gone when we came back. We were shocked that he would run away and we started looking for him, wherever he was. One year had passed, but we still had no idea of where he was. It was only by chance that I found him, possibly on quite an obvious place, but not obvious for us at the time.

When I spotted him, I shouted, "There you are, Athrun!"

He looked up at me and replied. "Oi, Kira! I haven't seen you in a while!"

I was worried and he seemed to notice it by my expression. He seemed to have confused look and I decided I would reply.

"Athrun..." I hesitated a bit, wondering if I should continue with my query. In the end, I asked him, "Are you feeling alright?"

He smiled at me.

"Of course I'm alright, Kira! Yuli and I..." He gestured to the spot beside him. My eyes widened as I registered what was happening. But he never seemed to notice as he continued talking. "...Are just fine! And don't worry about Cagalli either! She's not overworking herself as long as the baby's here."

I was paralyzed in shock, but not even once did Athrun notice the way I was staring at him. He now started asking me questions. "Kira...why did you never visit us? We would have been happy with you and Lacus as guests and we would've liked to know what you two were doing this past year."

I answered in my head, _'Because you ran away and we never knew where we could find you...'_ But when I replied, I surprised even myself.

"You...and Cagalli...are married?" He looked at me with obvious suspicion. _'Idiot!'_, I cursed myself. But he didn't try to attack me or anything. Just answered with a quiet, "Yes...and what is it to you?"

I shook my head and I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to see him shattered in front of me. I didn't want to break him away from his illusion of safety. But...

"Nothing...except..."

"Go on," he said back to me. He still wanted to know the cruel truth? Then I would deliver it to him...

"She's dead. Cagalli's dead, Athrun, and has been for the past year or so."

Athrun Zala was broken by this new revelation. The illusion that he had been seeing for a year had shattered in front of his very eyes, the shards cutting him apart and breaking him in turn. The shards which he embraced, yet made him bleed more the longer he clutched onto them.

I watched as he refused to believe it, but then...the message had sunk in. Cagalli was fated to never come back to him.

His hair had blocked his eyes. He finally let go of the shards. He said, "Yes...I remember now...she's gone forever..."

I let out a breath of relief. He was back to normal, depressed, but back to normal. But he continued.

"...Because you made her go away."

His hands went for my neck. When he squeezed, I gasped and tried to pry his hands off my neck. It wasn't working and I was already losing strength from the lack of air. I tried talking to him.

"Athrun...yamero..."

He looked at me with a manical expression on his face. He was enjoying this, I could tell.

"Athrun...onegai..."

This time he reacted by squeezing harder. And then he said something I never thought he'd ever mention again.

"Huh, you truly are the Ultimate Coordinator...And you were disappointed with being superior compared to others...so why won't you die?"

I nearly cried hearing that from him. _'No, not that nightmare again, never!_' I reached for what I only kept for emergencies. And I told him, "Because...Lacus...needs...me..."

He remembered Lacus and his grip on my neck slackened for a second, but it was enough time I needed.

_'Gomennasai...Athrun.'_

I took out the dagger and plunged deep into his heart. His hands let go of my neck. As he fell, he left me with something that would haunt me forever.

"Naze...Kira...?"

And he slipped into the darkness forever.

_Owari_


	4. Epilogue: Illusion

Last chapter!

Disclaimer: Gundam Seed is not mine to own...

Illusion - Epilogue

I was walking around, looking for someone.

"Kira! Kira!" I called out.

I looked in many places. Our home for starters, Cagalli's old mansion. He wasn't anywhere. So I decided to look along the shoreline. I walked beside the sea for about a half-hour until I saw him.

"Kira?"

He was crouched over the ground and his body seemed to be shivering violently. He was mumbling things like, "No...why...I don't understand...how...?" I reached out for his shoulder and touched it gently. He stiffened. And turned around...

"Lacus...?"

...And looked at me with a tearstained face. I answered, "Yes...it's me...Kira."

He then said something I never would have expected from him.

"Get away! I'm a killer! I don't deserve to be with you..."

I repeated his words in my mind. _"Get away! I'm a killer! I don't deserve to be with you..."_

_'A...killer...?'_

Only then did I notice his crimson stained hands, tainting the sand below. I finally saw the body that lay behind Kira.

"Athrun?"

I moved closer to examine Athrun and as I spotted the bloody knife in his chest, I knew that he was dead. I felt some tears beginning to gather in my eyes as I leaned over him. I brushed his navy hair to the side, gracefully spread over the powdery sand and gazed into his eyes. They were as beautiful as ever, but looking blank, as his soul's thread to his body had been cut off viciously. I moved his eyelids over his eyes, never to open again.

Kira was huddled over and as a walked over to him, he glanced at me fearfully before ducking his head back to the ground. When I got beside him, I embraced him from the side and I could see his surprised reaction.

"Kira...did you think I would hate you?"

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > > >> >> >> >> >> > > >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

"Kira...did you think I would hate you?"

Yes, my answer was yes. I thought you'd hate me for leaving you to find Athrun. I thought you would despise me for killing Athrun. But I would've never expected something like this.

Knowing you were by my side was enough. I was tired of holding everything back. I cried with you, Lacus. I told you what had happened: Athrun's story, and what I tried to do to bring him back into reality. You listened. And when I finished, I heard you say, "Cagalli would never have wanted him to live that way. She would have wanted him to move on, not stay in his memories forever. Kira...you set his soul free, and for that, I'm grateful."

"But...how did it turn out like this, Lacus? Why?" I was half-sobbing and pleading to Lacus. "When the war was over, everything was supposed to turn out fine! I don't understand! Everything was supposed to be perfect, a happy ending!"

She hesitated a bit before answering.

"Life works in many ways. Not always a happy ending in this story...but maybe in another one. Another one which fate will bring us to after ours ends in this world."

Tears streamed down my face in torrents. I looked into her sapphire eyes. They were leaking out tears too. I wiped my face.

"Yes. In another story. We'll get the ending we worked for..."

_1 Year Later_

Lacus and I went to visit Cagalli and Athrun's grave. It was decided that Athrun would be buried in Orb as well, beside Cagalli's grave.

We went up to the graves and laid the flowers on top.

"I hope that you will have a happier life now, Cagalli, Athrun."

As we walked away, the letters on the large gravestone flashed from the light of the sunset. It read:

_Athrun and Cagalli  
CE 55 - 72  
Unseparable, even in death._

_Memoir of Kira:_

_Nothing is really what it seems. Take Athrun for example. He was living in that false reality of his, where Cagalli was still alive. We know how unbearable it is to lose someone you love, but by tarnishing their memory with a fake image of them won't help. Life goes on, regardless of what little things happen. Painting a picture is okay, but getting obsessed with it isn't. When you have to get over someone's death, no one is asking for you to forget them. Just move on and look towards the future, not sufficating yourself in the past._

_"Forgiven, but not forgotten."_

_Owari_

This story is FINISHED!

Sorry if the formatting is shoddy, I posted this on the forums so...yeah.

Please review as a present...;


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